The Slums

Ok so I just finished this just now and I have to say, this visual novel absolutely has made me feel something, it is generally good. To share my feedback, the lore and story was fine and the characters therein accomplished their role as they had to. I did however have some personal gripes with reading getting quite boring at times (for simple meta reasons that should be easy to fix, however)- in all this I hope not to be unfair in my criticisms, and here’s what I felt:

1. Some parts definitely feel like they drag on for too long with the writing, to the point it gets tiresome to read all that and have to click, and click, on and on without really moving in the story. The introduction where you meet Ember, the chase sequences, and certain parts where you’re just stuck there talking without anything significant happening (i.e. no lore or significant character development) definitely felt like they could have been shorter.
2. The characters feel like they have too few stills to really show emotion, which does make the long ‘boring’ parts ‘worse’, but you’re an indie so I cannot blame you and the art is good by itself.
3. The absence of choices is a bummer, it could have boosted engagement with the story and efficiently combatted getting bored of reading. Choices having an effect on the ending would also have been very cool to see. - PS: from reading the maker’s comment, sit seems as though implementing multiple choices would have increased development times way too much. I accept that
4. Minor thing, but the formatting on some sentences missed the dot at the end.
5. I know it does not fall on you and someone else composed the music, but I did not like the soundtrack. I felt it was too drilling and monotonous and not memorable. Maybe leitmotifs would have helped?

MINOR general line tone spoilers for those who want to know what they’re about to consume A very bittersweet story, essentially, and absolutely no mindless sitcom, nor even a chance to fawn over a fictional character like I was expecting (and I didn’t). I’d say it’s worthwhile to read, and despite the initial slog I was able to get invested enough in it by the time the second character made their appearance, and I was most invested during the first important action section.

SPOILERS. My thoughts on the ENDING (unstructured ramble) Ok so the ending was… quite puzzling. It actually hit me quite hard with the protagonist (I’ll just call them the prince) almost dying several times (which even causes him to have a hallucination with Hook in it, which was a cool touch, and it did make me concerned if the rest of what the VN shows is then just the afterlife or something, lmao), and upon the last time he goes unconscious, not only he comes out of that disabled but the narration focuses on Ember which I found really quirky and strange- with, in general, how much the tone of the story changed, as it switched to brighter colors and a completely different environment, the castle. For the ending… after Ember becomes the prince’s “guard dog” and he enters the prince’s room, I thought they were going to kiss in bed in something, but it was bleaker than that. Instead, the game just ends with the prince’s promise of having Ember eat a lunch of pastry with him, which hits very hard actually. And then it just ends. I was thinking that more would have been shown before the credits would show, that is, I was thinking we would see the prince become King and abolish slavery or something, and we’d see Plaster get out too- because… what about Plaster?! He’s not even mentioned at the end of the VN and it just keeps me wondering then. Technically, the prince cannot move without their wheelchair and even then I doubt he would be able to return to that hole reliably (not to mention he probably doesn’t even know where it is). Ember would be too suspicious alone and outside and though he is the prince’s guard dog and I doubt the Crocodilians would allow themselves to shoot him in particular, he would raise suspicion going around all alone, which is especially worse considering his status as a slave and that bringing another Canid to the surface wouldn’t be a good look. So this may lead us to believe that Plaster possibly doesn’t even return to the surface. Which is… suspicious, as I do believe the prince had promised to Plaster he’d take him too to the surface eventually- when he becomes King mayhaps? But then Plaster will probably no longer be alive, you can’t expect living conditions in the Slums to be that good for a high life expectancy (and that must be, even with the past grace bestowed upon him by Boss, which undoubtedly helped Plaster live to the older age he is at now)- unless the ousting of Boss helps anything, which I frankly really doubt as most likely another bandit will rise to the same status as him to take his place. Also, the lie the prince told Ember is not addressed in the ending, although I doubt they would care more about that over their luxury pastry lunch. All in all, Ember’s love history with Hook first and now the prince reminding him of Hook is very bittersweet and all, and in general every part of the love story is very bittersweet and shows both ends making sacrifices and taking risks for the other in dramatic ways, which is thrilling. I don’t really have much else to say now other than a slight shower thought- if Canids are in an inferior position socially and thus wield less power than Crocodilians, could that possibly mean the prince and Ember’s relationship, in the surface world, is unequal and kind of abusive (until slavery is abolished and Canids gain their rights)? (Do not take this all too seriously- it is true though x3)

All in all… great job! I was overall satisfied with the experience which I’ll consider novel :3

Spoilers

Wow, pretty solid story, it was a bit predictable, but everything was tied together well, like how mentioning that crocodiles people can breathe underwater, being used for the final fight, how Ember got out being tied up, cause the knife was thrown near him, or how the Prince survived being shot in the back, cause it was mention that his back is the toughest part, you got solid story telling skills, can't wait to see what else you make

also mom hot

uuuh? whats with the dots